Tomorrow night Phil is having a L.A.N party — I believe about 10 guys are going to take over my house (my really clean house I might add) and will be up all night gaming. I think this time around, phil will have to be the one who cleans up after them…. I feel I’ve done enough cleaning this week (organized our closest, clean top to bottom got rid of everything). While he is having the ‘guys’ night, I will head down to the Grid for a concert, a christian women in town, along with her band are having a show tomorrow night!!

The summer is now coming to a close, next week I work 1 day (which will be so nice, after working all sorts of random shifts), then we are off to the interior for grandma & grandpa Schalm’s 50th anniversary, on the way home we are spending 2 nights in Van. with some friends. Then we are home for 2 weeks, and its time to be in Ontario for the wedding!! Exciting, exciting!! )

Lately I’ve been convicted though — that does having the new vase for flowers, or the picture frame, or the ottoman, really make my house homier? Or is the the atmospher Phil and I create with our life, and who we are. People always told me when you have company to not stress about making your home perfect, it doesn’t matter (for me, I have stressed and felt that if things were out of place, well that was bad) I have learned, that when a friend comes over, if clothes are strunned everywhere, dishes are not done, and the floor not swept, that our friendship still stands, and often growns stronger — becasue in reality my life is not always organized and clean, and when they experience this I am being real. (Not that I will always have a messy house but I will lighten up a bit)

I have been pondering that if I spent even half as much time, thinking about shopping, shopping and deciding where to put my great find, I would have much more time to spend time with people or with God and create deeper relationships, which is what life is about! I would have time for myself — remember to take time for my spiritual, physical and emotional health.

It really is astonishing how we become materialistic about thing without even realizing — please don’t take this post as I will never shop again, I will. But that I am learning that I have to make my priorties straight for what is important in life…. and as much fun as shopping is — its not the most important thing in my life. God is…

Phil has been wonderful and really trying to encourage me — trying to ‘fix’ things like most guys like to do, and this was something, a feeling or state that couldn’t just be fixed. The other day, I was feeling quite low about things and just when I was hitting the bottom… 3 wonderful people stepped out, and showed me they cared. Just when I needed it, at the perfect time they let me know they were thinking of me, and made the effort to find out where I was at!!! God is good!!! Last night for the 1st time in a little while i was totally able to sleep through the night, felt totally relaxed and free again. I was starting to be full again.. I was encouraged!!!

I had the opportunity to meet with 3 great friends, and share with them individually how I was feeling, where I am at, and be honest and true about my life. That is what I needed, and it was not in my time but definitely in God’s time… perfect time.

The big thing I am learning right now is who ‘I’ am as a person again…. I’ve always been very sure of who I was as an individual — but am still learning who I am as a wife-who we are as a couple-who I am as ‘this’ individual. It’s been challenging, but good. I am still me, but in a different season and a different time, and that is okay…. exciting really, in the end that is! I just don’t like the process… but I learn more and more each day, and in the end the getting there is all worth it.

) – I really am blessed by ALL the wonderful people in my life!!!

I feel as though things are round me are moving on, and I’d like to keep things stationary, the same, comfortable. But I’ve been struck that I can’t do that, even if I hold on to what ‘was’, I will eventually be left behind to everyone/thing else moving forward. Maybe I should just sit back and join in the ride…. if only it were that easy, I know I wont… but maybe I’ll little by little accept change into my life a bit more.

Recently I watched a movie — I’ve actually watched it twice now…. and if you haven’t watched it you must! P.S I love you. It is an amazing movie, very well done. But I wont lie it will make you cry! A good big cry! So be prepared, with kleenex and watch it on a day you are feeling someone emotionally strong cause well it hits all those ‘tear’ places.

I don’t want to give away the movie but it’s challenged me a lot about living. (I know that I talked a little about this in a past post too). Do you really need to have a big savings account to live? How about a big house? A new car? Are those really the things that start our life?? I don’t think so (but don’t get me wrong they are all awesome, and I too wouldn’t mind any of the above), I think that life isn’t about our possessions or our success. We need to live in the here and now and make a difference. We need to make friendships that last, tell those around us we care (we don’t number our number of days), do things now, not later!! We need to put presidence on things that happen once… and stop saying, maybe next year. I don’t mean things such as taking a trip to the Dominican… that could wait…. I mean take charge of your life and make a difference with your friends and family.

A while ago one of our elders spoke on “starting with the end in mind”, and he said we should live lifes that at our funeral people are being honest and not using ‘funeral talk’ — example: s/he was strongwilled = s/he was stubborn. But to be honest about what kind of life we led and what kind of person we were.

I’ve been pondering what kind of person I want to be at the end of my life…. I want to be someone who was welcoming and loving, who cared and listened, someone who was respected and trusted, someone who was not proud – willing to be wrong, I want to be rememebed of my life I lived for God, by my actions by the way I lived my life… not because of the words I spoke, a family person, God willing a wonderful mother. When I die, I want my life to celebrated!!

Now, this post is not to be depressing or anything — and probably seems like a bunch or rumble-gumble, and it may well be…. but it’s my thoughts…. and I’m learning right now, learning a lot about life!!! I truly love my life — I have an amazing husband who I love and cherish so much, wonderful parents who still teach me things everyday(maybe not everyday, but whenever we chat), a fabulous sister, who is encouraging and loving and suppports me no matter what, I am surrounded by friends young and old who I can turn to for anything and I am forever grateful…. and so many more people who have touched my life in different ways!

I am living life… Phil and I are living our life… it’s an amazing life that was created just for us!!!!!

Now, when the winter comes, I think I have to change my perspective — such as, I need to be prepared…. last year Phil bought me rubber boots!!!! and I have a fancy umbrella, and i need to use those to stay dry — and of course I have cute ones so they are fashionable too! I need to reflect on the growth around me, and how when the rain comes plants thrive… things grow.

I’ve been challenged this year about how in my life I am always waiting…. “I can’t wait until summer” “I can’t wait until fall”, in other aspects, I couldn’t wait till we were engaged, married and now I often will say I can’t wait to start a family. But why am I not content with where I am at? Not even just content, why am I not thrilled of where my life is, THIS stage that I am in, THESE things that I am doing. My eye’s have been open that I am always waiting… and if I am always waiting, when am I really going to start living?

That made me think!! I like to think my friends can motivate me, but I think now that more they inspire me to do things, but I am the one who has to do it. Hmm, something to ponder I guess…

Last month Phil and I celebrated our 1st anniversary (yeah). I can’t believe it’s been over a year, it seemed that our wedding day would never come, it drug on and on. Now I can’t seem to get time to slow down if I try. I also have a feeling it won’t get any better.

We had a big year our 1st year, a good year but had lots of things happen. Phil was originally working at NIC which was great, but in September had an ever better job opportunity, he got to work from home, remotely for a company in Philadelphia! He was thrilled!! It was a bit (a lot) scary for me, I don’t like change at the best of times, and for me not having ever met this Brandon character was strange… but Phil was sure. It has turned out to be the best move ever for us, Phil loves his job, loves ‘going’ to work. In April on our way home from Florida we had the opportunity to stop in Philadelphia and meet Brandon and his lovely wife Heather… it was like we were long lost friends! We all hit it off amazingly and had a great time.

I got 2 new jobs this year (and quit 1) I got a job at CIBC and found that the bank was just not for me. It was a great job for somebody but for me, it just didn’t fit. I started working at Be Clothing Boutique in November and absolutely love it!! It’s a lot of fun for me… and I enjoy it. I’m not sure what I want to do when I grow up, and this fits just fine for now .

We also moved this year, the place we were in was put up for sale, and we had to find a new house. We found the best and cutest little house for us! It’s on 5th street, so it’s so close to everything we do! We have a backyard and no longer share walls!! We both feel at home here.

In April we had our 1st ‘holiday’ married. We headed to Florida and met up with Phil’s parent’s at Disney World. My 1st time there, and it truly was magical. We were there for 9 days and it was awesome! It was great to spend some one-on-one time with Phil’s parents too, since we don’t live close we haven’t had the opportunity to do that.

Now we are at home, getting into routine, looking forward to summer and loving our life! Looking forward to what is in store for us in year 2!

I start my new job this week That’s fun! I’ll do a tax return for a client! Today I also applied for a Temp. Job at NIC, which would be fun, get to do all sorts of things. We’ll see, so think good thoughts!

Phil and I have almost been married for a month, and in some ways it feels like we’ve been married much longer, in others much less, and sometimes it feels exactly right. We are really enjoying eachother, and have found our relationship has been getting stronger again, we are spending more time talking again which is awesome…. between the wedding and work and school we felt very distant in the upcoming weeks to the wedding, but the wedding really did bring unity for us! Which is amazing!

We have been back to church now which has been wonderful, we love our church family and feel so welcomed there! This week, we will be presented with The Schalm Family bible, everytime there is a marriage a bible is presented to represent the new family! We are very excited! We are now a family!

I am off now though, errands to run, dishes to do